Relationship Rape Is Real—and It’s More Common Than You Think

When most people think of rape, they imagine a violent attack by a stranger in a dark alley. But that stereotype erases one of the most common—and most ignored—forms of sexual violence: relationship rape.

Also known as intimate partner sexual violence, relationship rape happens within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship. It’s when your partner violates your consent. It’s when someone you love—or used to love—uses their access to your body as a weapon. And in the United States, it happens far more often than most people realize.

The Reality in Numbers

- 1 in 10 women in the U.S. have been raped by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

- Over half (51.1%) of female rape victims report that their attacker was someone they were in a relationship with.

- 1 in 6 women and 1 in 14 men have experienced sexual violence by a current or former partner.

- Relationship rape often overlaps with physical abuse, and victims are more likely to suffer physical injury and long-term psychological trauma.

- Yet the vast majority of these crimes go unreported—and unprosecuted.

Why It’s So Invisible

Survivors of relationship rape face a unique kind of silencing. They’re told things like:

“But you were dating him.”

“If you lived together, how can it be rape?”

“You didn’t fight back, so maybe it wasn’t really assault.”

These myths are not just ignorant—they’re dangerous. They keep survivors from coming forward, and they protect rapists who hide behind the idea that consent is automatic in a relationship.

Consent is not a one-time contract. It must be given freely, enthusiastically, and can be revoked at any time. Even in a marriage. Even in a long-term partnership. Even if you said yes yesterday and no today.

The Impact

Survivors of intimate partner sexual violence often suffer in silence. They experience higher rates of:

- PTSD and depression

- Substance use disorders

- Self-harm and suicidal ideation

- Difficulty accessing justice or support

They are less likely to be believed—and more likely to be retraumatized by law enforcement and the legal system.

Why RapeIsRape.org Exists

I created this platform because I lived it. I was raped by someone I trusted—my boyfriend, a public official. The entire assault was caught on video. I turned over that video, police transcripts, written statements, and more to multiple law enforcement agencies. Still, no one was held accountable.

The system doesn’t just fail survivors. It silences them.

RapeIsRape.org exists to change that. We are here to say:

- Relationship rape is real.

- Survivors deserve to be heard.

- Evidence should matter more than influence.

- No one should be above accountability.

Speak Out. Stand Up. Share the Truth.

If you've experienced relationship rape, you're not alone—and you're not to blame. Your story matters. Your pain is real. And your right to justice doesn’t end because the person who hurt you once said “I love you.”