I have been suicidal basically my whole life. The last post might have been some clarity as to why. I just have been through too much and when it breaks me, I want out. sometimes it’s just an attempt not to wake up in the morning. Sometimes it’s just an is a matter of I just can’t anymore and it needs to be over immediately. I’m bad at it. I don’t know why I have done plenty of things that would kill a weaker person.
I am having trouble wrapping my mind around how many readers I have all over the country and a few all over the world. Again, thank you. I feel heard. It’s kind of cool. At the same time I wrote a lot of personal shit on here so I’m a little embarrassed. Like, here read about my sex life and suicide attempts and sexual organs and all personal experiences while I cuss like a sailor.
For my readers outside of Nevada, geography quiz: what’s the capital of Nevada?
I am having a really bad day. I had a really bad weekend. I don’t frown, never have except when I was married to Brian 2. It feels weird just a facial expression I am very much not used to. I’m always smiling, it’s my default. The frown feels weird.
First I want to say hello to my Carson City visitors. You’re back, I missed you guys. Social media dude for the Nevada AG gave me a number and told me to call. I left a message maybe you will get back to me, right? I’m not holding my breath. Then there is the matter of the Vermont State police creeping my page. Hey guys, what’s up? Did he really seriously try to somehow have me charged with something? Hilarious. I’ll take any charges you want to give. Have at it. But {D} is not identified and everything is redacted by the state of Nevada and I don’t identify him by name. Don’t know Vermont law but pretty sure this is 100% legal. But I’m not a lawyer.
I’m trying to get to where I said I was going to go but the words aren’t flowing.
A Tale of Two States. Here are my letters to the AG of Vt and the da/ag/police in Nevada. I'll start with the nice one:
I’ve decided before I can get to my recovery I should probably talk about the final dominos in my life before that night on video occurred. I think it needs to be understood to understand what happened and why I stayed with {D}.
It would appear that {D} is in fact no longer an employee of the state of Vermont. Letter are to be written by me to AGs across the country one a thank you and another a fuck you, do your fucking job. Take your guess as to which state gets which.
So don’t have confirmation yet but I believe it it’s true. But I won’t say that with certainty until I hear it from the state.
I have yet to be able to confirm anything and I’m not sure what is happening.
I bought a necklace. Anyone who knows me knows that buying jewelry is kind of the norm for me. This necklace is different.
Through this blog, I aim to share my thoughts, reflections, and experiences as I navigate through this challenging time. I hope that my story can resonate with others who have gone through similar situations.
If you or someone you know is going through a similar experience, remember that you are not alone. Reach out for help and support. Together, we can overcome.
