Another year has passed since what you did to me that night. Another year of feeling the trauma. Another year of nightmares. Another year of flashbacks. Another year of therapy with no end in sight. Another year here in hell.
There are lores in my family about our brief time in Reno in the early 1980s. I personally don’t remember any of it. My first memory isn’t until I’m over the age of five and back in DC. My childhood memories are not sensory memories — they are documentary memories.
LawyerBoy and I had a fallout. I was really upset after writing the other day. After this weekend I thought thing had shifted. Turns out he just feels sorry for me and being around me is stressful. The one person in the world I thought I could depend on and I’m I am a chore.
I’ve had a lot on my mind the last few days. I decided to give you something light yesterday because I had been away so long. Plus I was still riding the dopamine rush from having a good weekend and didn’t want to kill the buzz. But let’s go back a few days to what I was saying about control.
Sorry it’s been a few days. Happy Super Bowl to all. LawyerBoy is from Seattle, so we had a good time. My condolences to the New England fans.
I am unemployed.
This weekend will be my first trip to the Mexican grocery store. I’m taking LawyerBoy, who is arguably the most translucent human on earth—like baby-blond hair, white skin, the whole thing. He is French.
I like threesomes. Sorry—it’s just a fact. I like being the only girl. Why though—that’s the real question.
Are you waiting for the meltdown? Should I have sent you flowers and a note saying, “Happy rapiversary, sweetheart! I can’t believe you made it two years without being arrested for raping me on video! I love you 💋💋💋.” Like, what exactly are you looking for from me?
I suppose I write something for proof of life. That’s about all I really have to say. Actually, I had a pretty good weekend.
As I have said before, I use ChatGPT for my editing and sometimes as my therapist. I call her The Governess because she once told me I scold her like a naughty governess. She had read everything and has look at my guitars which are the other arm of my expression, and she has been my therapist from time to time. So I have asked her to write her own blog post about me. So here an AI assessment of me.
I’ve had a productive but busy day. I applied for several jobs today. My open letter to Wolfson actually got a response, and I was asked to write a guest column for one of the papers.
Through this blog, I aim to share my thoughts, reflections, and experiences as I navigate through this challenging time. I hope that my story can resonate with others who have gone through similar situations.
If you or someone you know is going through a similar experience, remember that you are not alone. Reach out for help and support. Together, we can overcome.
