Welcome to my Blog

I Knew, But I Didn’t Realize

The perfect storm was created on July 2, 2024. That date is the key to how we ended up here and how I ended up in this fight. It is the why behind every question about the rape. The perfect storm I wish had never happened. That was the day at work when I talked to the girl who had been assaulted. That tipped off the first domino toward reporting the rape.

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Brian 2 Part II: Grand Theft Emotions

I have to delve deeper into Brian 2 and what that relationship was and how it created the version of me that was so susceptible to the next psychopath who came along. Brian 2 was a diagnosed psychopath.

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Don’t get comfortable

I didn’t do anything today that I had planned on. LawyerBoy and I didn’t go through the videos and no moving of furniture was done. I didn’t see him until late this evening. Why? Because I make bad decisions.

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Dreams of Submission

I just had the wildest dream. I was in {D}’s house and I was confronting him. He decided to just ignore me. He wouldn’t look me in the eye and just pretended I wasn’t there.

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Negative, positive, indifferent

I have two different thought processes. One is positive and hopeful. The other lives in the decay of the past. I can’t decide which way to go with this tonight—err, morning. I’ve been falling asleep after work and waking up in the middle of the night. Which, by the way, Burlington, you haven’t been sleeping well. I don’t know you or who you are, but reach out if you need someone to talk to.

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Humiliation

I think I finally made {D}’s girlfriend go away with what LawyerBoy said. It’s been months. I kind of want to talk shit about her, but I also feel sorry for her. She’s still in it. I know what he’s like and what he does. I know how hard it is to walk away from it—or even recognize it.

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Picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue

What a fucking day. I woke up to an email saying I’m unstable from {D}’s attorney. Yes, that’s the point. {D} raped me, and I had a fucking nervous breakdown. So yes, that’s the point of the lawsuit. Thank you for agreeing with me. She actually said unhinged—like it’s a medical diagnosis. Unhingivitis or Unhingeditious. Or in Latin, hingedus unus.

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What should have been

LawyerBoy wants me to stop obsessing over the blog. He thinks {D} and his family are nuts. He also noted that the frequency with which {D}’s girlfriend reads my blog is, frankly, funny—because I’m in their home all day, every day. At some point, they’re always thinking about me.

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Learning to trust myself

I really was right about the new job. I’m not thinking about the rape and the legal cases as much. I don’t have time to obsess over everything when I’m engaged at work. We’ll see how it goes when I start working from home though. It can get quiet at times at work.

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Waiting for the sun

I’ve been kind of iffy about what I should and shouldn’t write about recently. With the hearing and the lawyer, I’m worried my little social healing experiment here is a lot less open than it should be. I’m feeling like it’s all very gotcha bullshit. Maybe that’s what happens when healing becomes entertainment—when I start watching myself heal instead of just doing it.

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House-training

The poor decision-making abounds today. I’m talking to {D2} and {MC} tonight, in addition to LawyerBoy. Boys are confusing as hell. And by boys, I mean men in their 40s, 50s… sometimes 60s.

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My Thoughts and Reflections

Through this blog, I aim to share my thoughts, reflections, and experiences as I navigate through this challenging time. I hope that my story can resonate with others who have gone through similar situations.

Seeking Support

If you or someone you know is going through a similar experience, remember that you are not alone. Reach out for help and support. Together, we can overcome.