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I’m having a rough evening tonight. I had a date and couldn’t get out of bed. While that’s usually how men like me, I literally couldn’t get in the shower and go. So I’ve been chatting with my AI therapist trying to figure some shit out. I want to talk about {D} and the fact that I still believe his bullshit today.

I need to put together the exhibits for the case. Texts and screen recordings and whatnot. I just don’t want to. I am freezing every time I sit at the computer and I just can’t do it.

I have so many things swirling through my mind this rainy day. The weekly chaos of life—but leading a life more chaotic than mine seems slightly impossible. Shit’s fucked, yo. I’ll survive it, but good lord, the unnecessary convergence of chaos in my mind is not my favorite thing. Today’s thought: fuck the system.

The perfect storm was created on July 2, 2024. That date is the key to how we ended up here and how I ended up in this fight. It is the why behind every question about the rape. The perfect storm I wish had never happened. That was the day at work when I talked to the girl who had been assaulted. That tipped off the first domino toward reporting the rape.

I have to delve deeper into Brian 2 and what that relationship was and how it created the version of me that was so susceptible to the next psychopath who came along. Brian 2 was a diagnosed psychopath.

I didn’t do anything today that I had planned on. LawyerBoy and I didn’t go through the videos and no moving of furniture was done. I didn’t see him until late this evening. Why? Because I make bad decisions.

I just had the wildest dream. I was in {D}’s house and I was confronting him. He decided to just ignore me. He wouldn’t look me in the eye and just pretended I wasn’t there.

I have two different thought processes. One is positive and hopeful. The other lives in the decay of the past. I can’t decide which way to go with this tonight—err, morning. I’ve been falling asleep after work and waking up in the middle of the night. Which, by the way, Burlington, you haven’t been sleeping well. I don’t know you or who you are, but reach out if you need someone to talk to.

I think I finally made {D}’s girlfriend go away with what LawyerBoy said. It’s been months. I kind of want to talk shit about her, but I also feel sorry for her. She’s still in it. I know what he’s like and what he does. I know how hard it is to walk away from it—or even recognize it.