Stirring Up Shit

For a throw-away post I might have stirred up some shit yesterday. My bad. Dude, everyone of a certain age has HPV. 85% is them bet I get when I google it. That’s why it is so immensely important to have your children vaccinated. HPV causes numerous health risks to both men and women, but cervical cancer is on the upper end of things it can cause.

Here is my HPV public service announcement: HPV causes cancer and genital warts in both men and women. The cervical cancer HPV connection was discovered, strangely, because men who were widowed due to cervical cancer had an alarmingly high chance of losing a second partner to cervical cancer as well. HPV is unusual in that it directly causes cancer—not just an increased risk. The good news? It’s completely curable if you keep up with your Pap smears.

Back in 2011 I was diagnosed with stage I cervical cancer. They removed part of my cervix because I was still of child-bearing age. Beyond that age, doctors usually recommend a partial hysterectomy as a precautionary measure.

It is what it is. I’ve always been honest and open with men: yeah, we all have HPV, but mine is one of the strains that can possibly cause cancer. I let them know, and I tell them to tell women after me if they choose not to use protection. Spoiler: they always choose not to use protection.

Here’s the truth: it really isn’t a big deal if you take care of yourself. I got cancer because I was too busy with life to go to the doctor. I knew from my pregnancy that I had precancerous cells and I never followed up. That’s how it turned into cancer and me having my cervix lobbed off under full anesthesia. Don’t be me. Don’t ignore precancerous cells. They’re the flashing red warning light that cancer is coming.

I went four years from precancerous cells to stage I. I had one simple surgery—no chemo, no radiation—and the only reason it got that far was because I didn’t prioritize my health. I was married with three young kids. At the time, I thought I had more important things than myself. Getting your kid to ballet on time isn't worth it, go to the doctor.

Now I still have to get Pap smears on what little cervix I have left. Sometimes I have painful sex because my cervix is incompetent, and that ties back to why we’re here in the first place. It was part of the pain and damage of the night of the video, why I immediately started bleeding afterward, and why I was having periods every two weeks. My anatomy is not like other women’s. That night was severe pain for me. Severe. Between that and never giving birth vaginally, my pussy was NOT “built for that,” despite {D}’s claim in the video. Quite the opposite.

I'll add I've not been to have a pap smear in the past year and a half. The thought of someone using a speculum on me is terrifying after that night, so we'll see if I go or if the cancer comes back  That particular coast of cervical cancer also caused my divorce from Brian 1 because he wouldn't come with me for the biopsy or the surgery. I was scrambling the day of the surgery for someone to take me, and he still tells himself I left him for another man and calls me a whore to my children. 

So, sorry to anyone {D} didn’t warn. {D} knew. {D} chose. {D} chose not to disclose. I always do.

Here’s the bottom line: HPV is everywhere. Most of us have had it if we were sexually active before the vaccine rolled out. But cancer doesn’t have to be. Just get your Pap smears. And don’t ignore the warning signs

And get your children vaccinated. Back when mine were you had to ask because it wasn't like the polio vaccine they give to everyone. That might have changed my kids are all sexually active adults now. Just make sure even your boys vaccinated so they don't end up giving a woman cervical cancer.