Before the apocalypse

I’ve been looking at screen shots because of the apocaversery. Things went weird really quickly.

I remember Juneteenth 2024, {D} and I went hiking and had sex in the Virgin River for the sake of irony. He was weird that day. He wanted to go kayaking and got super angry we didn’t. He yelled at me in the car. It was bizarre. He barely spoke to me that night and I couldn’t understand why.

Then the attempted break up. 3 days before my birthday. He showed up randomly and walked into my place while I was working. He told me we needed to break up because I had sent him 3 texts in quick succession the night before. He almost started crying when he told me how good I was to him. We talked and we agreed to give it another chance. He kissed me and we told each other we loved each other and he walked to his car half backwards to smile at me, eyes sparking.

That weekend we spent together. It was kind of sad but we were both trying. He wouldn’t look me in the eye when we had sex like he normally did that Saturday. But by Monday we were back in the swing of things.

That Monday was my birthday. He took me to Golden Steer where we had escargot and prime rib. He was wearing a kilt. It was the wrong tartan for his name and I, knowing everything, had to correct him. We were at Frank Sinatra’s booth, which had me excited because I love frank. I gave him a hand job under the table.

On the way home, I apologized to him as I stroked his hair. I told him it was my fault and how sorry I was for ever questioning him cheating on me. I told him how much I loved him and he told me the same.

A few days later we watched the debates together. It was back to before. He met me at the door naked and we made love almost as soon as the door opened, just like we always did.

I would work at his place in the morning and then drive home at lunch every day. The morning of the 28th, we woke up in each other’s arms. He called me an octopus but loved the affection. He actually got me an octopus necklace for my birthday and some diamond earrings.I wasn’t going to see him for a week because he was going to Georgia to visit his daughter. I went and got our coffee and smacked his ass and told him to get dressed. I was actually on the phone working when he left. He gave me a kiss and told me he loved me like he never expected it was the last time we would see each other. But that was the last kiss. The last I love you wouldn’t come until well after the apocalypse, but that’s the last time I saw him.

We texted as he was boarding his plane. He was drunk at the airport. But see, here was the problem I track flights and his plane didn’t take off when he said it did. It was on the tarmac for at least 30 minutes past scheduled take off. He never went to Georgia and I knew it.

I knew what was happening. I knew about {A}. I’m not stupid. I knew there was something going on from the beginning. I think he tried to break up with me because he got caught and she drove him down here to do it while she waited in the car. It didn’t matter. I was planning to suck it up and be with him regardless. I loved him. He was my best friend.

He lied to me so often. I learned his tricks. His word use, the way he held his hand on his phone in certain apps and the times he did things. I could always tell what he was thinking. That was our bond, we could always from the moment we met tell what the other was thinking just by looking at each other.

When he got back from Georgia he was going to meet my son and my dad for the first time. He was excited to meet my dad. They would have liked each other. Both lawyers, it’s a bond. My dad always bonds with the lawyers I date. We were looking at the future.

Then July 2nd happened. That was the day I watched the video and my whole life crumbled. I was in sheer panic and I needed so desperately to speak to him. We needed to talk before my son got there because I was not stable and I needed to be stable for my son. He said he would be back Sunday. My son was coming Tuesday.

I’ll going into the countdown the apocalypse tomorrow. But it involves him apparently forgetting I had keys to his place and my plan to beat the shit out of him and then use my mug shot from the resulting arrest on my fucking Christmas cards. But someone faked a heart attack because he was too much of a pussy to face me.

I will continue this tomorrow. Here are some texts from that time and the pictures of us together late that June.