I have Covid, and I blame the government because I got it at my friend’s house. I went to over to his house to work because I didn’t have internet. Then he tested positive for Covid. Nevada gave me Covid. I’ve never had Covid before, and now I see what all the fuss was about.
I had made plans all weekend with people and concerts, and now I just want my body to stop hurting. I’ve given up on my head not hurting.
I feel like shit.
I reconnected with lawyerboy. We were going to go to a concert together Saturday— Toad the Wet Sprocket — but I got sick.
So we’ve been texting all day about everything because I have Covid brain, and I was a total mean bitch to him when we broke up. First he Han Soloed me when I told him I loved him, then he told me my boobs were ugly, and we broke up on New Year’s 2024. That night I texted {D} and the rest is pending litigation in multiple states.
I don’t know — the whole thing is weird. But he bought a Toyota Tundra that’s the same color as my CHR, and I’m hoping if we park them together they’ll mate and we’ll have tiny blue SUVs everywhere. I told him his looked like mine with a mullet.
This is stupid. We’re not getting back together, despite it being the only thing my dad wants out of life at this point. Okay, maybe — but like 17% chance of it happening. He misses me. And frankly, I could use a lawyer… lol. I’d probably be bad for his career at this point, though. I could regale the other lawyers at dinner parties at the judge’s houses about the time I chased Steve Wolfson down a hallway and called him a pussy. That will go over swimmingly. Actually, from what I’ve heard, there’s an excellent chance that might be well received by people who know and work with him.
The guy I went out with Friday isn’t over his dead girlfriend, and the other two guys that have been courting me also aren’t over their dead girlfriends. They all have dead girlfriends and cry. Which is weird — not that they cry over their dead girlfriends, but that they all have dead girlfriends. Like, I get one, maybe two, but this is like four in a year that account for a sum total of five dead girlfriends. And it’s a long fucking story, but they get all butt-hurt and jealous while also saying we can’t be serious about a relationship because they’re not over their dead girlfriends.
A dead girlfriend is infallible, especially dying tragically young. A new woman will never rank, but they still want you to be there. They don’t want to date you, but they get jealous if you go with someone else. And it’s fucking weird. 0/10 — do not recommend being the next potential candidate after the girlfriend dies.
And the super creepy thing is all of them have told me I remind them of their dead girlfriends at some point.
Do all men just get jealous? Regardless of the relationship or lack thereof? I don’t get it. You want to date me, then date me, and I’ll stop dating other guys. You don’t get to not date me and then get jealous when I date others who also don’t want to date me but get jealous because I go out with someone else. I’m in this infinite loop of dead bitches and jealousy.
Why is my life this complicated?
Oh, and signs from the algorithm fairy? Temu started showing me wedding dresses, and I don’t know why
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