All By Myself

So court was lonely today. Just me, all alone. No defendant, nor was there an attorney for the defendant in the court. Just me, alone. There has been no response. There has been nothing on the case. I am the only person who has touched it, despite several emails with the attorney not of record.

Make it make sense.

Okay, random thoughts on this: he knows I’m still coming for criminal charges. He can’t say a fucking word, basically, because it could possibly be used against him. Everything would be a Fifth, which could be especially dangerous with a deposition because I know what happened, and if I’m asking the questions, they may be inescapable. But he has the Fifth.

Okay, regardless, he is a well-seasoned, certified civil appellate attorney. He knows that the Fifth looks bad to a jury. Might as well just say you did it, because that is how it reads to the average American. If you refuse to answer because it would incriminate you, that is binary. If you were going to say you didn’t do something, you would say it—because it wouldn’t incriminate you.

But then, what is the defense? Is that the card he’s holding—not saying what the defense is? From what he told me, it’s that I’m crazy and it was retaliation for us breaking up. That may explain when I reported it, but that doesn’t explain what is on the video.

There is no defense in truth for what is on the video. Without the aid of perjury, he cannot state I gave consent. We never had a conversation. I never said, “If I start saying no, keep going.” We never established any rules of engagement for the night. No discussion was had. We had no history whatsoever of any marginally painful sexual acts in a six-year long sexual relationship. Thus, my clear revocation of consent with the words “no” and “please stop” and “pull it out” should have immediately caused him to, at a minimum, take pause.

He never paused. He never even checked let alone stopped. No one checked. In fact, he went ahead and said, “I’m not going to pull it out, I’m going to fuck you with it.” So he also acknowledged my clear withdrawal of consent.

Now, anyone with any presence of mind—being a reasonable adult human—would have paused. At an absolute minimum a reasonable person would have stopped and checked. {D} had no presence of mind that night. He was just that fucking drunk and coked up.

So, there is, in my accounting, no reasonable defense that can be made. Plus, you look bad to a jury, and I’m gonna bet that juries award more than judges.

Now, to the opposite point: he is basically admitting to rape by default. That seals the whole “{D} is a rapist, there is no question” question. I no longer have to use {D}, not that I have to now, as truth is the defense against defamation.

Plus, the fucking state now having admission by default should, once we get a sane fucking prosecutor in office, have enough to at a minimum reconsider charges—if not prosecute. But protecting Nevada is the name of the game there. I won’t get started, but fuck you, Aaron Ford (in a completely non-threatening manner).

Or this is my payback: never hearing what the fuck he has to say for himself. Like I fucked him out of state employment—technically in two states, but in all states given what happened in Vermont. It is public record already. If we were to go to trial, that would just bring more public records, more details, and more attention to the case.

So perhaps it is better just to trust that the state is never going to prosecute because I’m too crazy, and live with the fact it is a known quantity that he is a rapist and everyone knows it.

Or we have the last option, which is his lawyer is a fucking moron and didn’t see the change in date on the 10th—which I personally made her aware of, the October 10th court date—so she should have at least looked. But at that, he was already in default by the October 10th court date, and there is no excuse. He is a lawyer, and his lawyer is an attorney. They fucking knew what to do and how long they had to do it, so I highly doubt the fuck-up theorem.

Both my dad and LawyerBoy have been worthless in discussing this particular conundrum with me and spitballing ideas, so I have no idea what a real lawyer would do in this situation. I wish I could ask {D}, as a lawyer in no way connected to this, what a real lawyer would do.