I don’t know how I do it.

So today got real interesting real fast.

First thing this morning, at 8:15 a.m., the arbitrator recused himself with no explanation. Just suddenly he shouldn’t be on the case. At 5 p.m. last night, there was talk of scheduling a meeting today or Monday. I had sent in the narrowed discovery that was requested. And then, first damn thing in the morning, he recused himself.

I immediately sent an email asking why, and I have not gotten a response.

Weird. Why have my days been so fucking weird as of late?

Next I get an unusual hit on the blog. It’s a midday hit from what looks like {D}. {D}, you seem a little worried. You weren’t just flicking through. It was weird. It’s all so weird.

Nothing is operating the way it has been.

Then I hear from the lawyer. Oh, she is agreeable to anything. Do we want to keep the discovery deadlines? Whatever I feel like. So I’m like, would it be procedurally better to wait? She defers to me.

Okay, bitch, what is the game? Why did he recuse himself? What trap am I in right now? What prompted {D} to get on the website, and why wasn’t he at work?

There is fuckery afoot, I fear.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m just so isolated I am getting weird. But that guy not knowing {D}, when they were codefendants? How do you not know your codefendant?

I might have just accidentally started a minor ruckus amongst the government types again.

I don’t know how in God’s name I end up in these bizarro-world weird-ass situations. I get that I’m a little bit of a shit-stirrer. It’s not like a talent. It’s more like a gift I can’t control. I mean, look at the shit I have stirred purely unintentionally.

I just wish I knew what was happening. I have a lot of balls—okay, that is a statement all on its own—but I have a lot of balls in the air right now. I don’t know what my balls have done at this point. I don’t fucking know. I can see possibilities, some of them absurd. There is always coincidence, but probability matters too. Correlation does not equal causation, but still.

Oh dear God, what kind of shit have I gotten us into now? Right, Todd?I'm