Original Sin

Okay, from now on, we ignore them. It’s me and, of course, Todd now.

I still don’t know what to think of you, Todd. I have a feeling I might have made you blush in some of those last posts. I will let you know when I do the dossier. I don’t know what else you’re afraid of. Or maybe you just kind of get off on the crazy. Which, as {D} used to say, you can always count on me to bring the crazy.

So, good news, bad news for me. I start a new job tomorrow. I already hate it. I am fully expecting to be fired from it. I am going to keep sending out resumes. Lead generation? Goddamnit, I’m better than this. I should be a college professor. That’s the part that sucks.

See, I gave that up. I had a little fling with my pervy 70-year-old thesis advisor, who was also the department chair. I asked him to switch me to another thesis advisor I had already picked out, and he refused because he was the chair, and I had to go through him to do it.

So, I ran the journal for the history department by default. It was all kinds of drama, and I ended up with it in my lap because I was secretary. I was also the gateway to my thesis advisor and was basically his TA, but unofficial and unpaid. So everyone knew me, and it might surprise everyone, but I was not well liked by all.

One guy, Bruce—he and I were friends until we weren’t. The drama turned into Team Katie and Team Bruce. My thesis advisor, as chair, sided with me. I will state it was because I was right and Bruce was an asshole.

Well, guess who got caught making out with a student at a university gathering? That would be me and my thesis advisor. Who caught us? That would be Bruce. Fuck.

This motherfucker right here, my thesis advisor, who was fucking 70 years old, talked me into taking the fall because he was going to get fired because Bruce was coming after him. He told me he loved me. So, of course, I did that for him. My thesis wasn’t accepted. That was the punishment.

I have a master’s degree I can’t use. He did write a glowing reference for Teach for America for me. At least I got to teach. That’s how I ended up in Vegas, and it’s been so fucking glorious every goddamn day since.

My thesis advisor went on to marry an Asian hooker. He traveled for sex tourism every summer. He brought one home. He told me I was the first woman he had sex with whom he hadn’t paid in nine years. I call her “Chinese Take Out.”

So yeah, the next shitty job starts tomorrow.

Drummer didn’t work out. He asked me to move in with him. First, he lives in North Las Vegas—the nice part—but fuck no, I won’t live in North Las Vegas. Are you fucking crazy? The sex was bad too. I actually had a flashback and was trying not to cry. And I brought my little purse, so I didn’t have my anxiety meds. He was mad I didn’t stay the night.

Whatever. I’m just going to stick with Adult FriendFinder and just pick men by dick size. It’s easier that way.

Hey, Todd, you got a big dick? Just wondering… lol. I’m fucking with you, man. I still don’t know why you’re here. I hope it’s because I’m funny.