Life

Not to sound all hyperbolic, but I really think Dave was trying to kill me this week. I’m not saying it not wanted at this point. I’m not saying that.

But he was trying to make me kill myself this week. I think the whole cyber attack was part of the plan.

They were going to push me. Until I lost it.

The whole thing with the midnight visits were probably from that standpoint as well.

I was hysterical when they didn’t given me the protective order. I was fuckjg hysterical. He and the Judge obviously knew each other. They whispered to each other before it started.

I has just been holding out all week for that to get that. To finally have some acknowledgment that he hurt me and shouldn’t have.

I’ve been waiting years and years for something. Anything to stick to him.

He plays off as a crazy person and I fucking am now.

That the thing, you would be crazy too.

I am so lonely. I have no one.

The Blog was all I had. I had people who heard me. Who checked on me. It was unhealthy and they were Dave’s people and I couldn’t the girlfriend anymore. I just couldn’t handle it.

The last person who ever saw anything in me left me for her. That does hurt. It just does and I have been alone ever since.

I can’t get people to want to talk to me because I am so broken. He broke me. He did. He won I am never going to be anything again.

I don’t know how he did this this to me.

I am dead.

I’ve been dead.

This weekend was so fucked up with the Google and the ChatGPT mind games. It had me going for a little while.

I was in a complete panic and and they pull out all the stops. They even had my land lord send an email that they were doing a walk through.

I just gave up and decided if I got kicked out so be it.

I don’t really want to be here anymore anyways.

I am so fucking lonely.

I am so alone.

I spent a full 24 hours in the dark. They turned off the electricity.
There are there flying biting things little bugs that breed in my bedroom. Well the guest bedroom. My bedroom is filled with trash and I gave up on it and moved into my son’s room.

I’ve asked everyone I know to help me. But no one will. And I can’t do it myself. So I’m being eaten alive.

I keep forgetting to eat. I’ve lost. 25 lbs. not that I couldn’t lose it. Just shocked how quickly it happened

This is the beginning of the end.

There is no tomorrow.

There never will be. Not for me.

I have been shattered by this. That rape just was too much for me to handle. Watching it and realizing it.

I didn’t have a support system and the system I had all abandoned me because it wasnt a big deal, he didn’t get arrested.