I went on a date Friday that ended disastrously. I had hope, and what have I said about hope? No bueno.
In true Katie fashion, I decided to go on a sexual bender just to prove that guy wrong. He told me I wasn’t attractive to him. He looked like Lurch with bad teeth and a $5 haircut. He goes to the gym, so he was wearing clothes two sizes too small. To which I replied, “I’m not attractive enough for… you? Okay then.”
So I whored out. But I met someone in the process. Guy named Dave. That’s not a bad omen now, is it?
We really hit it off, and we were lying in bed holding hands and talking about relationships and how we both kind of wanted the same things. He was sweet and polite and amazing in bed, and he texted me to make sure I got home safe.
I wish he had a different name, but I’m certain I can come up with a nickname for him. I am generally pretty good at that. He doesn’t live far away, but he is taking care of his elderly mom, who lives with him, and he has a kid in high school, so that does put a damper on some things.
But overall, I like him, and he seems to like me, and we have a ton in common. He isn’t a lawyer, so bonus points there.
We’re now talking about being raised by alcoholics, both of us. I might really like this dude. We’re totally sexually compatible, and we want the same type of relationship.
We shall see how this crashes and burns. The higher something flies, the more speed it picks up before it crashes into the ground. Until terminal velocity catches up with it before impact.
But for tonight, I’m glad I wasn’t attractive enough for some Republican DOJ assclown who defends ICE as a profession.
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