Purposes of my own

I get questions about why this website exists. No, it’s not revenge. I have a few reasons for me, for you, for the powers that be. Why are you reading it? You’re interested and I will give you that it is an interesting story.

I’m doing this for me. It’s journaling but I’m doing it publicly. Some other woman out there has gone through something similar. The ups and downs of life after rape. The fears and the confusion and just the inability to function some days. The hot and cold weird feelings of a traumatized woman. I want someone to read this and feel better about what happened to them. I’m hoping the story has a happy ending that someone can eventually find hope in.

I also want a warning label put on {D}. I’m doing this for the safety of others. He doesn’t have control, he never has. I think that those who know him have taken what I have to say to heart. I’m not trying to punish him. This isn’t playing gotcha, there legitimately safety issues. I needed to make this public record.

Speaking of public record, I want to make myself available to any other victim past or future. {D} met his current girlfriend, {A} on fetlife and she is into that shit. She likes the pain and humiliation she left her husband for it. HE used to complain to me that she could only feel pain and it wasn’t sexually satisfying enough for him and he loved me because I could actually feel pleasure. When he told me that it was the first I had heard of his BDSM life after having sex with him for six years and well after the video was made. He told me that the screaming was the part he liked that night and never caused me pain like that again. So some people are into that, they can have at it, I want no part of that shit. That said, I know {D} and I’m betting he has more partners and if he rapes someone else? I’m right fucking here I have video, I will testify, I will support any victim he has or has had legally or emotionally. Hopefully he learned a lesson and will not do that to someone who didn’t consent to it.

Honestly this started as a convenient way to send the information to reporters. I have everything here and everything I say is backed up with evidence and police reports. It’s all here, my little treasure trove. I was trying to get a news outlet in Vermont to cover the disbarment. He is a known entity in Vermont news because of his involvement in the Jay Peak/EB5 scandal he fucked up when he was counsel at the department of financial regulation in Vermont before he resigned in 2016. He was initially named in it. I remember when the final report came out he told me all about it and cried. He also had to resign and was unemployed for months before someone got him a job in Nevada because “Nevada doesn’t do background checks.” I thought someone would pick it up and one day the media will. Maybe. Until then I do the job of the media.

For Nevada, I am using this site on every damn post by the DA and AG on every social media platform in a comment. If I can get them to charge him or get enough support behind me to make them notice, that would get us to the end game, his ultimate arrest and conviction for a crime that is ON VIDEO. I thought for a minute they were looking at this site in Carson City because I had been heard and they were trying to help me but I haven’t heard a damn word about it but they check the blog and have spent hours analyzing my website. I don’t know why, I can only assume it is because they are looking for something on me. Good luck with that and as I told DA Wolfson “do I appear to be someone who has never been in handcuffs before?” I’m not afraid. If I can protect one person this is worth getting arrested over. “Good trouble” as John Lewis used to call it.

The main purpose of this is really for me to be heard. I am yelling into the void and people are hearing me. I just want to be heard. I want my story told. I look bad in parts, I get it but this? Go listen to the recording. I’m not a virginal martyr who is free from sin. I was having sex with two men at once on cocaine and recording it. That doesn’t look good for me. I don’t care, here is my story of my life and what happened to my body and what I am trying to do to keep fucking fighting until he is in prison or the statutes of limitations are up.

I’m in for the long game. Bring it, bitches. This is a game of will.