I came to a decision today. I am going to move forward with civil litigation against the state, the county, and {D} individually. I don’t know how to do this without an attorney so, this should get interesting and be a learning experience for me. I don’t care about the money, which is why no one will take the case, I need to figure out how to do this on principle alone.
The bitch of that is I am going up against the youngest certified civil appellate trial attorney in Florida history and he will undoubtedly be represented by an attorney then the state and individually AG Aaron Ford, Esq and DA Steven Wolfson, Esq. in short I am not even bringing a knife to the gun fight, I'm bringing maybe a rusty spoon to a nuclear war I have always fought stupid though, and sometimes I win.
What is happening here is not okay. Plain and simple. Every attorney I have talked to has told me it's not okay. The grounds are there. {D} should have been at a minimum charged. As I have said before, the lack of response by the police and the district attorney and the attorney general has been way worse on me emotionally than the initial rape was.
I had to come to terms with the rape. I had to accept it happened, however at the same time I am trying to process something that horrific, I have the county and the state saying it didn’t happen. I cannot tell you how fucked up that feeling is.
If I am to accept this rape for what it is, there is no other way than to have it adjudicated. If I am to believe myself, my memory, and my eyes and ears watching that video, I have to fight this all the way through. I don’t have a choice. I have to keep fighting or I am not going to accept this and heal from it.
This has taken away a year of my life. Just gone. I lost contact with my son due to there not being any charges. I missed 5 months of work. I had to quit my job because I had taken so much time off to chase DA’s down hallways to force them to watch the key piece of evidence in a case they had already declined 3 times before seeing the video.
This has been too much. Far far too much. The judicial system has to work. It has to. I studied history and I feel that the American judicial system is sacred. If I am going through this who else is going through it?
I am a strong resilient and resourceful motherfucker. If I can’t make this work what untold numbers are out there who couldn’t handle fighting are there in the world? Not blaming or belittling those who can’t. I almost can’t. I know I’m strong though and I know that if anyone is going to push this to its last possible point, it’s going to be me. I have no connections. I don’t know people who know people. I am starting from zero.
The system has to work, it just has to. This is my idealism. This is my belief in American justice. This has to work. I have to do a lot of work, but it’s worth it so the next one doesn’t have to.
I also need to figure out what legislative action needs to take place to prevent this from happening to someone else. I almost didn’t make it out of this alive, by my own hand. We need to protect women. I have to protect the others.
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