Dear {A} and {D}

Deat {D}~

This game this week has rough on me. First of all I have like 4-5 analytics running and what one relay bypasses another picks up. So what the kids finally moved to Kentucky or Ohio? You stayed with the other kid one night. Now you’re back in Palm Beach?

So, here is what has been happening. {A} can log into your phone on the back end and she is checking to see what you’re doing. Smart of her I will say but {A} honey, you are not a smart woman. Learn to read. Like it takes you for fucking ever. Sound it out baby words are hard. She just sets the website back to the lawsuit. I thought it was you at first. Constant all day.

I have had over 200 hits from your IP address in a week. Constant. All day. Then I have the damn State of Nevada who guys if y’all trying to be sneaky perhaps not having an ISP literally named the State of Nevada would help. Amateurs.

I did email a formal complaint to the police I am protected from this type of thing as a person who has accused you of a violent crime it’s retaliation per NRS 199.305 for you to be harassing me, your victim in such a manner and in MY place of healing.

So I’m taking a guess {A} saw some shit she didn’t know and you had lied about because you are a liar. I mean just come on we all know. The problem is I’m not lying I haven’t been lying from the beginning. I’ve always told the truth. You’re the liar and the manipulator. This is why I am so hell bent on you being punished.

You have done this time and time again and gotten away with it. Because you lie. I assure you, you lied to everyone at DOI and if Todd hadn’t clicked that video, nobody would have watched it. I’m almost afraid that is why he left. I feel bad a little bit, not a lot he called it “pornographic.” That is a misrepresentation of what is on that video.

So couple things here. Let’s talk about the lawsuit and then I need to tell you where I’m at and what this is to me.

I am suing you for 2 reasons. 1. You need therapy and meds and rehab. You kept saying I’m unstable, Jesus Christ bro, you can’t control your drinking you have zero control when you’re drunk. It’s ironic your desperate need for control over others when you lack that control of yourself.

I want you to heal. I want you to face the demons and try to find happiness. I’m still going to keep trying for years to get you arrested, but I need you in treatment now. You lost control that night. you knew better you just couldn’t stop it. I need to make sure that never happens to someone else. You are too out of control. I get why you need to cause pain, that is the psychopathy. You can’t really control it but you seem to mitigate with the BDSM. Just make sure they want it. And I will for the record say it is abusive and you are hurting her. She might not know it yet but maybe you should help her find some help too. Perhaps you can grow into a better couple and find happiness. Maybe you can.

I need you to try though. I know you know what you did. I know that. I know. That remorse? That can be covered by alcohol or it can be healed by therapy. The alcohol just makes it snowball. You’re running out of hoops, man. I actually had no intention of getting you fired by the AG, by the way.

Second I need that lawsuit for me. I can’t figure out how to heal from this. Like you need to understand I thought I was over everything that ever happened to me. But I saw that video and I realized I wasn’t over anything I had just masked it forever. I never had to look it in the eye. Watching yourself be raped in third person while remembering it in first person. You have no idea how much that fucked me up. And I am so sick over everyone getting away with hurting me. It’s not fair. I’ve lost a year of my life. You stole it from me. You stole the good part of me. You stole the loving part of me and the fun part of me and anything that was good about me. I need you punished for that. I need some justice. And if it’s a civil jury or a disbarment hearing, fine. I need a system to look at this and determine fault. Because I’m still blaming myself as well as you and I keep questioning my own autonomy my rights to my own being. If that was lawful and people can just do that to you whenever they feel like it, I guess that’s been my life. And it is just how it is but I believe otherwise.

And dude I don’t have a lawyer. You won’t need one so argue it yourself and save some money. You’re better any lawyer in this hell hole to start with. I can’t afford one. I can’t ever afford the filing fees. And I’ve a hearing on August 12th to get alternate service since you evaded that $300 worth of service I paid for already. Like it was 7am you are not awake before then. Assclown.

I know you come here to check up on me every now and then. Weird, but I weirdly appreciate it. Or I’m deluding myself it comes from a place of good and care. But I’m going to choose to believe that.

But this is my place of healing. This is where I get to talk about it. I don’t have friends I have clicks and each of this clicks makes me feel like I’m not alone. It’s validation I have and I need you two to just not invade it with your bullshit. Like yes {A} no shit you should t trust him and he lied to you but can I be left out of it?

And {D} I threw up watching the screen recording of you listening to the video. I didn’t know if you were enjoying it. So just at a minimum stay off that page. Just you have all the videos. I gave them all to you. You don’t need to watch it again. Just don’t let me know it’s happening. I can’t stand the thought of you getting off on that. I will literally start vomiting. That’s my new trauma flashback bonus gift is I puke now. It hits me and I puke. That’s what you did to me {D}. That’s what you’ve done.

Just let me have this. You have everything I have nothing but the like 50 people who clink on the links on Facebook and Twitter. Threads too they have been good people as well. I just need somone to hear me so I’m not screaming in silence anymore. I need someone to hear me and and show me compassion. I’m not a likable person I never have been. I snap viciously like a wounded dog. No one likes that. I just need someone with patience and understanding and forgiveness.

You can check up. You obviously look everything over for the lawsuit. However, this game with my phone constantly buzzing and it being you two. Like come one what we throwing salt in the wound here? {A} honey he is yours. You have no fear of me taking him away. He hurt me a lot and I don’t want him. He is toxic to me. He destroyed me. I deserve better. So do you. But do your thing.

Now if any of my readers (shout out to Altoona) are not too taken aback by this drama bullshit. Stick around. You’re helping me. And I need you. I’m going to take a couple days off. If there is fall out I’ll share and let you know what is going on. Thanks.