My good side

Okay, so I didn’t go to creepy guy’s house. I don’t know if that is good or bad. I will give myself credit for showering. But I didn’t go.

I’m kind of glad I didn’t. Not that guy. You know? Like, that guy was just a hair past creepy. Like, give me quasi, almost-not-creepy, and I can hang.

I have been going through my relationships and stuff in my head. I am, let’s call it, an acquired taste. There is good, there is bad, and there is a touch of fucking fantastic if you get it. If you don’t, I’m not worth it to you.

It’s rare when people really see me for all the facets. I thought {D} did, but he was looking for my weaknesses so he could control me.

I am fucking brilliant. If smart chicks are your thing, that’s my main lane to be in. You have to appreciate a smart woman. Some men don’t, and frankly can’t.

I am probably the sweetest person you ever met. I am loving and affectionate and caring, and I’ll take care of you and always try to cheer you up and tell you how wonderful you are, and I will try to keep you positive. For some reason, men always seem to find their own emotions with me. I will listen as you talk about your feelings and be supportive. And I always tell people when I am proud of them.

Here is the slight problem with that. I am also a good shit-talking East Coast girl who will make you cry just with her words if I am angry enough. I can make you cry, and if I am mad enough to say something to make you cry, I will then also call you a little fucking bitch for crying.

Yeah, I try not to go down the angry road. I really do. I know how much I can hurt someone with my words. I try to be excessively cautious. I just need to find people who can forgive me when I go off like that.

Other than that little problem with me, I’m cool to hang out with. I love sports and working on cars, and I can patch your drywall and possibly refinish your furniture. I’m super handy around the house.

I don’t generally ask for much. Text me, buy me a birthday present. I will cost money in concert tickets. But seriously, the sex? Yeah, I know how good I am. Like, I have honed my craft. I am that fucking good. And I know it. The bedroom is probably the only place I really have full confidence in my abilities.

I have some great traits. I really do. I used to be way funnier before all this happened. Like, I was fucking hilarious. I used to do stand-up. I can tell a fucking story too and make it interesting.

I really am kind of a cool person. And I have this defiant moral compass that will fight and say fuck the man, you know. That’s kind of one of the things I really hope people find attractive in me. Like, that is probably my best trait. I’m fearless. I’m occasionally reckless and stupid, but fearless nonetheless.

See, I have good qualities. I just need to find people who appreciate them. People who appreciate the chaos of me. Embrace the chaos.

My best relationships are usually balanced. I am the chaos and they are the calm. I make them live and go out on a limb. They keep me from flying away. I like that balance. That is what I am trying to find.