A Lovely Weekend

Ahhh what a lovely weekend. How was Maine? I hear it’s nice this time of year. You two are fucking idiots.

Anyways, I just wanted to get some things off my chest. The weight of it all.

I really thought {D} was the rest of my life. I pictured us in the nursing home arguing poll numbers in our old age. That’s what got me. {D} loved me, and that was what was going to make up for everything that had gone wrong in my life. That was when I was finally going to be happy.

It takes a truly traumatized mind to think that, given what he did to me and then continued to do to me throughout that time period.

I talked to my son today. He wanted pictures of a crashed car from years ago. It sent me through my pictures on my phone. All like 20,000 of them. It was a whirlwind scrolling through. The Brian years, the Patrick years, the Rich years, the LawyerBoy years, and then the {D} years.

I need to find myself again. I need to get back to me. I need to find that path because that motherfucker doesn’t deserve me and what he took from me. He doesn’t. He deserves the narcissistic cow he has now that he used to complain to me about because she could only feel the pain he inflicted upon her. That's the reflection of that man's "love" pain. Pure pain for his enjoyment. He has never known love and will never know love again. Just pain, that's all he has.

However, {D} deserves everything that is coming his way. Every little bit.

I have nothing left to lose. Not a fucking thing. No career, no family, no reputation to preserve, not a fucking thing. We are the truly dangerous people when we cease to give a fuck about anything at all.

There are no gods or masters or accountability for us.

Who the fuck do you think you’re playing with?

The hilarious part of it is that {D} thinks he got his people to cover it all up for him because obviously he is the victim here. Right? His cockiness is what is going to own his ass.

It’s an election year, baby. Ain’t no one gonna cover for some lowlife like you when it comes to their re-election. You think I haven’t made acquaintances? You think I haven’t dug deep? You think I don’t have more? Oh honey, I do. I very much do.

You don’t know who I know. Or what I know. Or who I’ve talked to. Or what I have on the horizon.

Just know I play fair and I am completely aboveboard. I have done nothing even questionably illegal. Nor do I fucking need to. You might, but not me.

Let’s. Fucking. Go.

I am in your head every fucking day. I am in your bed every fucking night. I am always there like a fucking ghost haunting you. You look over your shoulder every fucking day because you know precisely what you've done and know that one day it's going to catch up with you and no amount of bullshit will ever save you from your fate. And after that, well that's between you and god sweetpea. Lord only knows what's coming to you then for the years you got away with it. For the countless women you have harmed. It's all coming for you. Don't fucking doubt it.