It’s okay, baby. I got you.

I was sitting here going through things in my head. I’m working on a new motion. I was thinking about court and just in a circle of thoughts—some angry, some bemused by the situation. My laptop was in front of me, and I had one of the analytics tabs open. Then it popped up with a new visitor.

9:17 p.m. Pacific. That makes it 12:17 a.m. Eastern. My heart just sank, and I started crying. I’m so sorry, baby. I really am. You have no idea how much I mean that.

Like, listen, I’m fucking diabolical at times. I openly admit that. But I’m not heartless. I know exactly what you’re going through. I know, honey, I know. I don’t wish that on you. I really don’t.

I know how hard it is to walk away. I barely made it out. And it took way longer than it actually should have. It’s fucking hard. Almost impossible.

Here is my read on you. You believe me. You know exactly what I’m talking about. You and I have both lived it. We know how he is. What he is. We know.

However, I really think you’re uncertain as to what you want to happen. The eventuality of it. You don’t want him to go to prison or anything. You don’t necessarily want the bad shit. But you’re also not certain if that would be the only way out.

I actually had a little hope that once you found out he was cheating, you would maybe stand up to it. So I am a little disappointed. Which, on that, you know I’m right. Don’t fucking believe his lying ass. And she is kind of not very attractive. Like, a little dog-facey. I wouldn’t fuck her, but whatever. Don’t worry, you are prettier than that bitch. Okay? Trust me on this one. I would totally fuck you, girl. Don’t let that shit get to you. He will literally put his dick in anything.

Listen, what the fuck do you think I’ve been doing for the last two years? It is part of my mission to help you. I’m that guy. I’ve got a fucking mouth, and I talk shit, but the overarching goal here is to make certain that I protect the other women. That includes you.

I have felt a lot of guilt for not being able to get him charged. That is why it bothers me so much when you come to me like this.

You don’t know me. I’d never fucking fight for myself. It would never happen. But other people? Fuck, I will throw the fuck down. I know exactly what you are going through, both internally and what that fucker is doing to you. I know what his other victims feel like, knowing there is nothing they can do. I know someone is out there right now feeling what I feel because they can’t have justice either. I want to stop that feeling in all of his victims. I want them to experience some relief from it because I know how it feels.

I have been so adamant about the press because, guess what? The others can find out that way. If I ever succeed in getting him charged, he’ll get a year, maybe two, or something, and then he’ll be back. Monitored as a sex offender, though. It’s a middle ground. But if the others come out, and the full extent of what this man has done and the destruction and damage he has caused women his entire fucking life becomes known, I think they would put him away. Like, for good.

You can’t. I get it. I understand. That doesn’t mean I don’t get fucking pissed, but I do see it. I understand your position. Then there are the whores, and they just don’t want to believe it. Like, I was one of the whores for years. I was clueless as to what he actually was. He plays the part well. Superficial, he does well with. I’m not going to say if, back then, I would have believed what he actually is if someone had told me. I might not have. He is still fucking {D}. There was always a little sinister there.

But, baby, I got you. Again, you don’t know me, but that means something when I fucking say it. Okay? I’m weird. I’m occasionally volatile, but I feel like something might be moving. Maybe it will be in the right direction.

If not, I will fuck with that motherfucker until he murders me with his bare fucking hands. Then he will go to prison. Maybe. It’s Nevada. Aaron Ford might give him a fucking medal or something. My friends are jokingly saying they’re going to take out life insurance policies on me for this shit I’m pulling right now. Though LawyerBoy did point out there is not enough water left in Lake Mead to put me in a barrel and drop me there.

It’s going to turn out the way it is going to turn out. I have no idea what that outcome is. All I can do is hope that good is greater than evil, justice works eventually, and the truth will always come out.

And if that is true, one day we’ll both be free and really start healing.

You've got my number. You've called me before and I know it. No one wrong number anymore. You need me, I will be here. 

PS State of Nevada: in case it's not abundantly clear to you fucks, he just raped another woman tonight. Great fucking job. How much money was that worth? Seriously. Fuck you.